Our Center's Namesake
Dorothy D. Rupe

Our Mission

Hospice of San Luis Obispo County, committed to the dignity of the human experience, provides volunteer support, education, and counseling to those living with life threatening or terminal illness, their families, and the bereaved. 

Locations

Hospice San Luis Obispo
1304 Pacific Street
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
Phone:  805.544.2266
Street Map

Hospice Paso Robles
1345 Oak Street
Paso Robles, CA 93446
Phone:  805.434.1164
Street Map

Hours

San Luis Obispo
Monday - Friday
8:30 AM - 4:30 PM

Paso Robles
by Appointment

---

Hospice Links:

• Tips for Coping with Loss
• Helpful Articles to Read

Community Links:

• Community Resources
• 211 SLO Hotline
• United Way

 

Donate Online via PayPal You may prefer to print a Mail-In/Fax Donation Form.

 

What to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

 

It is difficult to find the right words to comfort a grief-stricken friend or co-worker. Some things we say with the best intentions can make a grieving friend feel worse. Grief counselor Marta Felber, M.Ed., author of "Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies" and herself a widow, offers the following "Do's and Don'ts" for conversing with someone who is grieving.

• DON'T SAY: "I know how you feel." The person in grief may want to scream, "No, you don't! No one knows how badly I feel!"

• DO SAY: "I don't know how you feel, but I care about you and that you are hurting." In this way we validate their feelings.

• DON'T SAY: "Just call me if there is anything I can do." People in deep grief can't think straight or focus. They don't know what they need to do.

• DO SAY: "Can I get groceries for you or drive you somewhere you need to go?" It's much more useful to offer specific help. Other suggestions: Invite your friend to lunch or dinner, help her with medical or tax forms, or help her go through her loved one's belongings, but only when she is ready.

• DON'T SAY: "It will get better." Grieving people know this intellectually, but in their heart they may feel so lost and alone.

• DO SAY: "It must be so difficult for you. I am thinking about you, caring, loving you" (or whatever you can sincerely say). Remember to stay in the present, where the grieving person is.

• DON'T SAY: "Now, now don't cry." It hurts us to see them cry and makes us sad. But, by telling them not to cry, we are trying to take their grief away.

• DO SAY: "Go ahead and cry. It's okay. I'm here." Then sit quietly with them. Hold or touch them. If you feel like doing so, cry with them.

• DON'T SAY: "Your loved one is waiting for you over there," "God wanted him," "It was God's will," or "God knows best." Imagine how you would you feel about God after hearing such comments. Be very sensitive. Know the person's faith, and be in touch with your own.

• DO SAY: "You’ll be in my heart" or "I will be praying for you," if you sincerely will do this.

 

 

 

If you need help coping with a loss, caring for a seriously ill loved one, or dealing with your own mortality, please call us at 805.544.2266 or 805.434.1164. We're here to help.